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I am very much enjoying Anne Hathaway’s Certified Weird-Girl Era, typified by her role as a world-famous pop star in a bizarre psychosexual relationship with her former costumer in Mother Mary. I mean, Hathaway, Michaela Coel, a brief but wonderful glimpse of Hunter Schafer, and a bounty of incredible looks? Sign me up!
Below, find (quite literally) every thought I had while watching Mother Mary:
- Why does Anne Hathaway look like Toni Collette in this movie?
- To be clear, that’s not remotely a bad thing.
- I want Michaela Coel to say to me: “You are a tumor.”
- OMG, this sparkly lid!
- Does Hathaway do her own singing in this movie?
- Wow, I googled it and: yes!
- I mean, let us not forget, she’s got the pipes.
- If Anne Hathaway actually rebranded as a Lady Gaga-style pop star, I would be…the happiest girl alive.
- This particular song she’s performing isn’t really giving “chart-topping banger,” but I have faith.
- Oh, I’m getting a lot of Black Swan from this movie already.
- And you’ll never catch me complaining!
- I’ve always liked Anne Hathaway blonde, ever since Rachel Getting Married (a perfect film, in my opinion, if not a perfect dye job).
- OMG, Hunter Schafer!
- All this drama over a dress…Met Gala boots!
- Mary once wore raw honey down the red carpet? So meat dress-core.
- Also, it fights infection!
- God, the chemistry between Hathaway and Coel simply rocks.
- “No halo.” “At all?” LOL.
- All right, this soundtrack is officially starting to bang.
- Which makes sense, since Charli XCX, FKA twigs, and Jack Antonoff are behind it.
- I guess Antonoff needed to change up his SEO this week!
- Ooh, pop star beef.
- There’s room for everyone, girlies!
- OMG, Michaela—whose character’s name is actually Sam, sorry—doesn’t listen to Mary’s music?
- Burn.
- Oh hell yeah, a little impromptu choreo.
- Shit’s getting weird!
- I love how nonplussed Sam is by this weird semi-dance, semi-collapse.
- Oh, now this is a bop!
- “You’re obliterating yourself.” Woof.
- It’s crazy that we’ve essentially been in this one room for the entirety of this movie.
- I appreciate how seriously Sam takes her mission of bringing pop music costumery to life.
- An interesting question being raised: who owns a dress more, the person who makes it or the person who wears it?
- “I liked how it felt when you dressed me.”
- Are thinks getting…gay?
- Sam really said: “I needed to lose you to love me.”
- I love how British people say “telly.”
- This dynamic is kind of reminding me of the relationship between the pop star and the assistant/protagonist in Zadie Smith’s Swing Time.
- Crying, accessing the sublime, and fleeing before the encore at a pop diva’s concert…Sam, you’re so relatable for this.
- Okay, not so much with the tooth removal, though.
- Ah, okay, fantasy sequence.
- Ghost story time!
- I do not believe that Sam ever stopped thinking about Mary, personally.
- “Where do ghosts go when you don’t need them anymore?”
- Okay, I’m rocking with this hint of The Craft-style supernatural weirdness.
- Twigs working the extremely weird and scary role of Imogen, I must say.
- Ew! Stab wound!
- Kind of a sapphic one, too, if I may say.
- Anne Hathaway bathing and bandaging herself in a clean white tub? Sure, why not.
- Halo time!
- Okay, my lack of love for concerts (except for Lorde ones!!!!) is extending to this extended Mother Mary performance sequence, I fear.
- Oop, sexy ribbon-cutting time.
- “Our house is full” does kind of seem like something that would work to get rid of a ghost.
- Blood!!!!!!!!!!
- Okay, this is a beautiful shot.
- I want Hunter Schafer to describe a pop concert to me in full.
- Damn, that dress!
- I feel like it shares DNA with the James Holt one that Miranda Priestly hates in The Devil Wears Prada, a little bit.
- Well, that was very…The Phantom Thread meets Heavenly Creatures, or something!
- I mean, I did like it! But I have questions.
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